By Ted Wolfendale | December 17, 2018
Joel’s elderly mother was failing. He spent hours every week as her caregiver, but still never felt like it was enough. He tried to visit her every Saturday to help with household chores, like cleaning her house or doing her laundry. Sometimes, though, he found it hard to get there. When he couldn’t make it, he inevitably felt guilty. Yet, when he did go, he felt guilty about missing out on time spent with his wife and children.
For many caregivers, guilt is a constant companion. They feel guilty about the decisions they make, things they aren’t able to do, and the time they spend or don’t spend on caregiver duties.
You may never get rid of caregiver guilt completely, but there are ways you can deal with it. Below are some tips.
Forgive Yourself for Mistakes
You’re going to make mistakes sometimes. Everyone does. Don’t waste your time or energy beating yourself up when you do. Instead, forgive yourself and move on.
Set Boundaries
If you find yourself being guilted into doing things you don’t want to do or don’t have time for, it can help to set some boundaries. Tell your aging relative when you are available to help them and that you will take care of their needs then. Ask that they respect your schedule and contact homecare services providers who are available when you are not. Once you’ve set boundaries, stick to them. If you don’t, they’ll mean nothing, and people will continue to push them.
Don’t Spread Yourself Too Thin
When you work so hard that you’re exhausted, you’re more likely to lose your patience and snap. If you snap at your aging relative, you may feel guilty about it. By taking care of yourself, you’ll feel better overall and more equipped to handle even the most trying days. Be sure to eat a healthy diet, see your doctor for regular appointments, make time to exercise, and get enough sleep.
Recognize the Normalcy of Negative Feelings
You know those people that others describe as “a ray of sunshine,” the ones who seem perpetually happy? Well, even they have negative feelings sometimes. So, if you’re not always thrilled to be a caregiver and you sometimes have angry thoughts, don’t believe there’s something wrong with you. There isn’t. You’re a normal human being with normal human emotions that run the gamut from joy to sadness to anger. And, it’s not unusual to feel all those things about being a caregiver.
Sources: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/life-balance/info-2017/living-with-guilt-bjj.html
https://www.caregiver.org/emotional-side-caregiving
If you or an aging loved one are considering Homecare Services in Fort Myers FL, call the caring staff at Dial-a-Nurse today. Naples: (239) 434-8000. Ft. Myers: (239) 939-1228.